Planting my Seed II: Mea Culpa
by Galbert-Kun
Summary: What on earth happened? Where was Declan headed off to after packing his bags? *Sequel to Planting my Seed, COMPLETE*
1. Grieving

Disclaimer= **I do not own Degrassi or Wayne Brauning's thoughts about men and abortion.**

A/N= **This chapter is going to be about how Declan is grieving and what he is doing to help the grieving process. Its one of those "set up" chapters. **

* * *

5 long years had passed since Declan left Smithdale and everyone he knew for a quiet bode across the ocean. As everyone well knows, people have their own ways for dealing with drama. they deal with drama, (grief), and shock in ways that feel right for them. Declan didn't know what to do. As you all know, he had 1 girlfriend before being established at Degrassi. That girl broke his heart, and he was a mess after that. Then came the advances from Jane before she ended things. It was Holly J's turn to break the Declan Code; I mean Declan solved her puzzle, you know what I mean! Clare came and it all changed for Declan. They shared similar interests and whatever new thing he got into, she liked. It wasn't discussed before, but they really CAPITALIZED on their PDA. They split faults in the room, Clare became pregnant, Clare aborted, which made Declan pack his bags to leave. Everything fell into place for Declan before the shocking news. He was going to be working for a couple of years and then he would've gone to graduate school. Those plans were scrapped and Declan could've care less about Smithdale, Degrassi or any of his friends and/or family. He went overseas and hasn't talked to anyone for 5 years. Declan talked to one of his contacts overseas and his contact let him stay at one of his houses. If you thought that Declan would go emo, stay in the house 23.5 hours each day, you thought wrong. With the help of a therapist, he gradually left his house to work some jobs. The therapist made sure that the jobs were far away from women and children and that idea worked well to improve Declan's psyche. For 5 years, what were 6 a week visits eventually turned to a 3 a weeks. Declan was a very appreciative of the therapy sessions. He would never forget what his therapist told him the very first time he went to his office and after a long cry:

_How can one grieve for a child who has simply vanished?_

_Fathers of aborted children are like my friend. The fathers must struggle with how to grieve the loss of a person who "disappeared" from their lives. The_ _fact is this person, who truly did exist and touched their lives - - with longings, memories of fear or joy, visual images, bodily sensations, and dreams of what could be - - is now gone._

_The lives of aborted children touch people in different ways, but **no one is untouched. **One woman did not want the abortion, began to lactate. Her motherly instincts were stirred. She continues to wish that this baby who would now be grown, were sitting at her table. Her husband EIGHTEEN YEARS LATER, still grieves over the fact that he did not fulfill his role as the protector of his unborn child._

_Every man and woman of an aborted child knows the truth. Their children are gone forever and cannot be brought back or replaced. There will always be avoid in their lives - - a void made more painful by memories, regrets, and dreams of what their child might have been._

_Grieving for an aborted baby is different from the loss of any other loved one. Abortion is not part of any natural process like miscarriage. It is not a mysterious disappearance. It is the deliberate act of taking the life of a defenseless person._

During his time overseas, Declan found some faith. Every Friday morning, he would attend mass at the church by his house for about an hour. After the message was said and everyone had left, he would go to the front of the church, kneel down before the steps and say four words four times from his quadlingual mouth.

"Pray for my son."

"Reza por mi hijo."

"Preghiera para mio figlio."

"Prier je mon fils."

The combination of prayer, work, and therapy helped balance Declan's life during the past 5 post-abortion years. As aforementioned, he could not care less what was going on back in the C. No matter how much he isolated himself, Declan knew that he would have to go back and face everyone and come with an explanation.

Sometime during the next month, Declan was walking around the downtown during a festival when some flyer boy approached him.

"Do you like music?"

"Yes, all kinds."

"Great to hear, come see Manny Santos, international superstar, tonight at the stadium. She's performing at the stadium as thanks to the people while the filming for _Mewesical Greek_ went on. This will be her final performance before she goes on tour."

"Alright," said Declan as the flyer boy handed him a flyer. He scanned the paper and was focused on the "MANNY SANTOS" that was in large bold font.

"Where have I heard this name before... OH YEAH, I REMEMBER HER!" Declan has a flashback to when he greeted Jane one day while at Degrassi, and Manny was walking with her.

"I haven't heard her sing, but I take it she can sing well enough to sell out a stadium. Lets see how this show is." Declan goes to the show and has a pretty great time, bopping his head to Manny's renditions of "Good Times" and "I'm Like Whoa," but with substitute Greek stuff added in of course. Because everyone wanted an autograph from Manny, the stadium had to pick people while on a mic because her sig was of high value. Declan was picked and he waited patiently as his turn eventually came for an autograph. When he was up; it went a little something like this:

"Whats your name?"

"Coyne; Declan Coyne." At that moment, Manny dropped her pen and looked up at Declan, who shrugged and said "whats up" to her. Manny snapped her fingers and 'bout a couple of her goons swarmed Declan and took him to a limo in some private parking lot.

"What the hell are you guys doing?"

"Relax man, they weren't going to hurt you," Manny said as she entered the limo from the opposite side.

"What do you want with me?"

"Can't two old friends reminisce?"

"We were never friends Manny; we only talked like one time in the span of several years."

"Okay, can we talk right now?"

"I guess..." There was some silence before Manny spoke.

"How are you holding up?"

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb..."

"I'm not sure if I should talk with you about this - -"

"I'm probably the best person you can talk to about this."

"... and why do you think that?"

"When I was at Degrassi, I got pregnant."

"Oh you did?"

"Yes and I too had an abortion."

"I'm sorry."

"Its okay... its been a long time and I STILL get emotional about it."

"I can definitely relate Manny. My therapist gave me a little speech my first time seeing him about abortion, talking about the grieving process for both men and women... Will we ever stop grieving?"

"I'm not sure we ever will. Once something like that happens, we are never the same people. We will always have that regret."

"If you don't mind me asking, what do you most regret about your abortion?"

"I was going to travel the world with my baby, bonding as only a mother and her child would. That will never happen now, but if I'm ever feeling down, I think about the good times my baby and I would've had."

"Wow, you and your therapist - -"

"I never had a therapist..."

"YOU MEAN - -"

"Well I did, I went like 1 time, telling her that I'll spend 10 hours in her office, but I want to leave with a course of action to properly grieve. I only spent 2 hours in her office and since then, that plan of hers has been helping me out a lot."

"How did you tell everyone?"

"I only told my closest friends and family because no one else needed to know."

"..."

"Whats wrong?"

"I haven't talked to anyone about my feelings about the abortion in 5 years."

"I just packed my belongings one day when I was at Smithdale and abruptly left. I did not tell a soul where I was going. I layed low and everyone gave up their search for me."

"You do know that you will have to face everyone right?"

"Yes, I'm not sure when - -"

"How about now? You've got to be homesick..."

"I guess..."

"Declan, do what you did 5 years ago. Pack your bags and go back home. You can think about what you are going to say on the plane."

"..."

"Whats wrong now?"

"What if - -"

"Trust me, they WILL want to hear from you. You are not a caveman, so you will not seem foreign to them. You'll have several hours to think about what to say. You'll do fine, trust me."

"Very well, what are you going to do?"

"Me? I'm going on tour now, I'm traveling the world, living my dreams."

"Good." Declan hugged Manny and was leaving the limo when he stopped to turn around.

"Thanks for the talk Manny."

"No problem."

* * *

So Declan was off, back to C-side, back to speak to his people...


	2. Decipher

Disclaimer= **I do not own Degrassi.**

* * *

Declan's driver pulled up beside a familiar place as instructed.

"Welcome back Mr. Coyne, you were really missed."

"I'm glad to be back Marvin; it was the right time to return home."

"I'll be in the parking lot."

"Thank you Marvin." Declan closed his eyes and took a big breath as instructed by his therapist. He remembered the first time he was here alongside his sister. Curiously, Declan watched the Studz perform and remembers the camcorder recording 2 inches from his face. He remembered flirting with Mia, inviting Peter to his house and watching him have a musicalFAIL and meet the crank. During the beach-themed evening is when he saw her. To Declan, she looked like a blue floral Hawaiian goddess. He couldn't do anything since she has a boyfriend at the time.

"I better get inside." Declan took his time, wandering around his old stomping grounds. When he got wind about the abortion, he reacted similarly to Craig. If you recall, when Manny became pregnant, Craig was happy because he was going to have a family; however, his dreams were dashed when Manny decided to go the route she did. Craig was still around but unresponsive and in Declan's case, he left the country entirely. Due to the severity of what happened, Declan did his best to suppress the memories of everyone and everything in the C. He should've known better; once you've experienced something, that memory is permanently etched into your subconscious. Everything came back little by little: trying to decipher Sinder3lla's identity, Melancholy Turtle, Trish, playing Duck Duck Goose with the little kids... EVERYTHING CAME BACK. The biggest memory he is remembering now was the one in the music room. A familiar person broke his trance.

"Declan are you okay?"

"Huh - -"

"Oh hey Ms. Kwan, its been a long time!"

"Follow me." Ms. Kwan led Declan to the gymnasium, where the lights were cut off. She snapped her fingers and a dim light lit up with a chair at center court. Declan did not need to be told, taking a seat in the chair.

"Why am I doing this Ms. Kwan?"

"TURN ON THE LIGHTS!"All of the lights came on and many familiar faces appeared. Instincts seeping in, Declan immediately got up to leave.

_"I'm not ready to face everyone_, "Declan thought. He sprinted for the exits, but there were people there.

"You cannot leave Mr. Coyne."

"Marvin what the hell, "Declan rebuffed, sweating profusely.

"You must do this."

"Yeah dude, listen to your limo driver." Declan recognized that familiar voice.

"SAV, hey man." Sav man-hugged him, as did Peter who was there as well. Both of them motioned for him to return to his chair, which he did. Declan had a mic, as did the stands. It was time for Declan to explain himself.

"Thank you guys for coming..." Even though he was prepared for this, Declan struggled to produce any words.

"Look, this is not easy for me. For the past 5 years - -"

"THE PAST 5 YEARS NEARLY KILLED ALL OF US!"

"I'm sorry, but I'd like to finish my thought. As I was saying, the past 5 years I've had plenty of time to assess, reflect, decode and analyze what went on in my mind as I left Smithdale in such an abrupt manner. At the time, I was in love with Clare Edwards, speaking of which - -"

"She couldn't get herself to come because she is emotionally comatose."

"Thats unfortunate... anyways I was in love with Clare. She was the only girl I thought that understood me. The first time I saw her after a few years in a party at Smithdale, feelings developed. One thing led to another and we consummated and then entered a relationship soon after." The crowd in the stands was buzzing. Did they expect Declan to say something else beside the truth? Declan went on to continue:

"Clare broke the news to me that she was pregnant and I was ecstatic because I was going to become a father. My life was great, what with a beautiful girl and a baby on the way." Declan fought back tears that were no doubt going to come. People in the crowd were not so lucky.

"Then she had to get an abortion. She was planning the abortion the entire time, without ever telling me until it was too late. How was I supposed to react? My dreams of having a family were crushed because of the abortion."

"..."

"Clare could've told me about it, but she chose not to."

"She did not want you to leave her Declan."

"Why on earth would I leave a pregnant girl? She got pregnant and so I wanted to step up as a man and be a dad. Clare was unfortunately not ready to be a mom."

"I cannot believe her. For her to do what she did without telling me... I mean, we could've set up a course of action. There was a solution to what she perceived as a problem."

"Do you still love Clare?"

"My love for her ended when she told me that she had an abortion, "Declan said coldly, "I'm sorry, but I've said enough." Declan left the gymnasium without any resistance, unsure of where he was going to go. He did not want to go to his parent's house or his friends for fear of them asking him endless questions. So what he did was something that middle-aged men would not do when they want to get away from it all: he went to the library. Would you expect Declan to go on a drinking binge, get a loud pack, or binge of food? Nope, the son of a diplomat and the father of an aborted child went to the library. When he got there, the librarians were shocked to see the man that frequented this particular library for the first time in several years.

"Declan, asked one librarian in a nervous tone," are you turning in an overdue book?" Sensing the humor and knowing very well that EVERYONE knew about his ordeal, he replied, "NO, but I plan to check out some books and turn them in overdue, yes."

"You still haven't lost that porky mouth of yours," quipped the librarian, who motioned for Declan to go to his usual spot, behind some knock off ancient tablets. Everyone has their quiet places, a place that once they get there, they close themselves off form the world; consider it a 'wall' of sorts. Declan, after what happened, grew dangerously close to building an impenetrable wall, closing himself off from the rest of the world. That would've happened had he stayed overseas, but kudos to Manny for having him step up and face all the people that he hurt by leaving during the middle of the night. It is a common thing to act on impulse. I mean your emotions are a total wreck and you just want to get the hell away. You don't stop to think of how many people you've hurt/disappointed until its too late. Getting back to that quiet place for a moment, its a place where you can do whatever you want to do. If its in your room, you can be one of those that listens to music, writes stuff (_ahem_) or punch a hole in your wall. You may find your 'quiet zone' to be in a completely different place, perhaps a library. What could be in a library? Depending on what place you are at, I mean, whatever you find comfortable in a library, by all means go for it. For Declan, that was group study room #4 in the west side of the library. He clasped his hands together and closes his eyes, rubbing his temples every so often. The therapist told Declan to say encouraging words to himself in the new languages he learned.

"Todo va estar bien niño, ¡no te preocupes de nada!" Before he could say anything else, Declan heard someone drop some books nearby, so he turned around and saw through the open door a girl picking up some books.

"Do you want a hand," asked Declan, to which the girl replied, "No its alright." Declan could clearly see the girl struggling to carry the books.

"Let me help you out with the books," he insisted, "I'll take the books to the front for checkout."

"I said I'm okay!" The girl, who was in a hoodie, softly pushed Declan and walked away with her book, leaving him dumbfounded. Declan could've sworn he recognized the voice of that girl, whom he was going to go after, had she not dropped one of her books. Declan picked up the book and nearly dropped it.

_I recognize the author... I only know of one person that would be interested in this book..._

* * *

It was nearing midnight when Declan was wondering around the street. He had zero interest in returning home to his parent's house because he would not rest due to all of the questions they would ask. So he was just walking around, finding fun in the kicking a can around as if he lacked social capital. Declan's wandering led him to the ravine, where he was rudely welcomed.

"Hey man," said another familiar voice, "buy us a pizza."

"Alright whatever," was Declan's reply, to which the guy squinted his eyes and let out a big yell.

"You're that guy that went to Degrassi whose girl had the abortion." The guy's goons were ready for Declan to retaliate, to which he did not even bother to.

"... Sausage or pepperoni?" His answer surprised the ravine men, who simply scratched their heads in bewilderment.

"You're not going to fight us," they asked. Declan simply replied, "I don't care about that anymore; I've done my grieving." The pizza came and Declan and company washed the pizza down with a few cold ones.

"How did you know I went to Degrassi," Declan asked the guy, who shrugged and replied, " I went there too when you did. I was the first guy to notice how beautiful Clare was."

"Who are you?"

"Reese."

"Ah, doesn't ring a bell." Reese wasn't surprised, telling Declan that he kept a low profile while at Degrassi. Reese told Declan that he was set to marry his long time girlfriend who left him at the altar and ran off with his arch nemesis.

"That's rough, I'm sorry to hear that."

"I'm just like you Declan," countered Reese, "my girl wasn't pregnant, but we had professed our love to each other and our plans to spend the rest of our lives together. She just had to dump at the altar for _him._ I mean it hurt and I eventually got over it, but it just sucks when your girl does not love you, but loves someone else."

"Did you have any prior girlfriends?" Declan thought long and hard, trying to remember all of the girls he encountered because he tried valiantly to suppress those memories.

"Yeah you remember the president when we were at Degrassi?"

"You mean - -"

"Yes, her."

"Oh wow, how did you let THAT get away?"

"She was beyond controlling. It pushed me away, which is why I had to dump her." Some awkward silence ensued, and then Reese chose his next words carefully.

"Is she still around?" Declan thought about it for a minute before replying with, "I do not know, probably since she's most likely graduated from university."

"Since its getting late and I have to work in the morning, I'ma leave you with this... If she dumped you, she no longer wants you."

"Think about it and GO FOR HER!"

* * *

Several weeks passed by and Declan pretty much did the same thing. He found a job that kept him busy even though he was already financially set for life. He still refused to talk to his parents. Aside from all that, we get to the part where Declan is going on a nature hike. Back at therapy during his overseas stay, his therapist strongly recommended that Declan go on a nature hike to air the emotions out. he did just that, climbing atop and sitting on a huge boulder by a creek. Declan did some meditating and when that was over with, he stared down at the clear water.

"I feel like going for a little dip - -"

"If you want to catch hypothermia, by all means jump Declan." He nearly tripped to fall down towards the creek via belly flop.

"What the hell?!"

"Is that how you greet someone you haven't talked to in over 5 years?"

"Wha- - How do you want me to react, " Declan fumed, "you call my name and I nearly fall to the water."

"Can you at least take off your hoodie so I can take a good look at you... _Holly J_?" It was holly J who was the hooded woman, the woman in the library and likely in other places as well. Both of them stared down at the creek for nearly an hour.

"Holly J, I'm - - "

"Let me speak first Declan. There is many things we have to discuss, many things we have to do and many problems we need to solve."

"I don't mind because I've got all the time in the world."

"I've got nothing."

_Yet?_


	3. How it Should Be

Disclaimer= **I do not own Degrassi.**

* * *

Holly J and Declan sat on the boulder, staring into the creek, looking passive. She said that they have many things to discuss, to do and many problems to solve. "What do you mean we have many things to do," Declan asked with an incredulous tone, to which Holly J said," the to do list and the problems to solve both coincide. You need to talk with your parents. I understand you not wanting to talk to your friends, but you need to talk to your parents. They love you and brought you into this world - -" Holly J winced, thinking that she hit a sour spot; but much to her surprise, Declan did not bat an eye. "Wow," she thought, "who knows what haven't through for the last 5 years. Poor guy, I'll let him know about that later..."

"Do you have any idea as to how you are going to talk to your parents?"

"... Do you think that I should have?" That question made Holly J chuckle. "Obviously Declan, you always want to look presentable; do you want your parents to see you as a caveman?" Declan rubbed his chin and said no. Their first plan was set in motion. Declan had to run to the store to buy a shaving kit, some decent antiperspirant, and a nice pair of clothes. At around sundown Declan and Holly J pulled up beside his house in the new Maybach, 5% tint. You would normally think that when confronting someone to "put the past behind you," you would be nervous, but not Declan. Declan was pretty calm, something that mildly concerned Holly J. "Are you ready to go in there?" Declan nodded yes and asked her if she was going in there with him. "This is your thing, so you need to do this by yourself." Before he went inside, Declan asked for some advice, to which Holly J replied with the memorable "don't be a blockhead?" line. She flashed a grin that signified her vote of confidence and Declan went out the car and walked the steps to get inside.

* * *

"Welcome home Mr. Coyne - -"

"Go perform an unnatural act on yourself Marvin, "Declan said coldly, "You sold me out you snitch, and that is unforgivable in my eyes." Declan shoved Marvin aside and stormed to the kitchen to grab some pop from the refrigerator. His parents weren't in the kitchen, so Declan assumed that they were upstairs so he sipped his pop while waiting for his parents. He waited and waited and that process went on for about a couple of hours. After drinking 5 cans of pop, Declan got fed up and went upstairs to look for his parents. He knocked several times at their door to no response and after a while, he opened the door and burst through, finding neither parent inside the room. Worried, Declan searches the entire house and the backyard for his parents and they are nowhere to be found. He turns around to fetch his phone that he left on the kitchen counter when Marvin the limo driver stood by the door. "Your parents aren't home Mr. Coyne."

"What are you talking about?" Marvin took off his limo cap and walked across the grass towards Declan and stands inches away from his face. "They left this letter for you." The moment Declan grabbed the letter, Marvin dealt a swift kick to the weak spot on Declan's side, causing him to collapse in a heap of pain. Marvin grabs the letter and says something more burr to a wounded Declan. "_You_ go perform that unnatural act you sonofabitch!" The letter is tossed by Declan's feet as Marvin scurries off the premises, Declan cannot move because his side was quickly swelling. He was trying to reach for the letter, but the pain in his side was too much and so he slowly blacked out from too much pain.

* * *

Declan woke up later laying on his couch with a blanket covering him. The fireplace was crackling as he lay on the couch. "That limo driver of yours kicks like a coward." Declan instantly recognized the voice as belonging to Holly J. "How do you know that, " he wondered. Holly J sighed and ripped the blanket from under Declan, whose yelp was unnecessary. "Look at your side Declan, he placed his kick just below the weak spot, plus his laces made the most contact. You would be in the hospital with broken ribs had he properly connected. You were extremely fortunate Declan."

"That swelling should have gone down some now, so try to sit up straight." Declan was able to sit up straight with only minor discomfort. "What the hell happened?" Holly J showed some real ocular concern, concern that told Declan that he had to give it to her straight player. "What had happened was that I went inside looking for my parents, but they were nowhere to be found. I naturally worried, so I did a solo manhunt to find them, which yielded no results. Then I went outside for some fresh air and stared at the moon when my damn limo driver tried to off me - -"

"Like I said, he is a terrible kicker, so you only came away with bruising and nothing more." They just looked at each other while the fire was crackling behind them. Holly J didn't tell Declan this, but Mr. Marvin the limo driver was going for the 2nd Round TKO. He heard a noise coming from the front door, which messed up his kick to Declan's weak spot. Holly J came in, shrieking with a 9mm and a 2x4 in tow. Marvin wasn't dumb, so he instantly fled over the wall, disappearing into the night. "So that was you with that warrior call as I was blacking out," Declan said to Holly J, who feigned embarrassment. "I'm surprised you remember that" The next thing Declan said made it nearly it for her.

_"I could never forget your voice._" I wonder what could've happened next. You would think that after someone says something like that, clothes would come off and... already used that line, my bad. Holly J blushed some red, but that was it.

"Since you can walk, I left some stuff on the table that should serve you in some way. Its getting late, so I should - -"

"What if that crazy limo driver returns?"

"Impossible, since law enforcement would be on their way the moment an intruder intrudes - -"

"Thats great and all, but what if I actually you know, fall and break my ribs?"

"I suppose I could spend the night here." Declan smiled and ocularized his approval. "Why do you really want me to spend the night here?" That question mildly caught Declan off guard because he remembered back at the hike that Holly J wanted to talk to him about many things and solve some problems." You told me on the boulder that you wanted to talk about a lot of stuff? I'm here, as are you, in the privacy of my mansion, with no one around... we could talk until sunrise and I wouldn't mind at all."

"Very well - -"

"By the way Holly J, what happened with you? You seem very different since we last... oh yeah." Declan face palmed, thinking that he screwed up, but Holly J let that pass by her, similar to dodging a lunar fang? "Five years plus changes a person..."

"Thats it? I mean, you have nothing else to say - -"

"I do Declan, but eh, um..." She wasn't sure how to say it because she felt that it was too soon to say that after several years apart, but Holly J could not help it. The way things went down at The Dot left her thinking for several years. She figured that changing her ways little by little would serve her well. After trying to forget about Declan by partaking in the dating game, Holly J came to the conclusion that forgetting about him was simply not possible. She remained in her pensive state for the rest of the night, transitioning flashback to flashback like a 100 slide PowerPoint. Waking up in the morning after falling asleep in the living room, Holly J was on the couch, pillow and blanket in tow. "About time you woke up," Declan exclaimed, "I can't beliee I slept so well." Holly J couldn't help but smile at the good spirits Declan was in.

"What time is it - -"

"Careful, you're going to knock your breakfast tray over."

"You made breakfast in couch for me... thats really sweet of you."

"Its the least I can do for everything that you've done for me." There was some silence as Holly J ate her breakfast; its as if Declan hoped that the food would incite conversation. "You wanted to talk?" Holly J set her tray down and looked at Declan with an intense twinkle in her eye. "I do want to talk, but now is not the right time. Now that you mention it, we need to get dressed because we are going on a little trip."

"Where?"

"You will know when we get there."

* * *

They hardly said anything to each other as they pulled up beside another familiar place. "Where are we," said a half-asleep Declan, who sought some more z's. "Smithdale." Boy did his ears perk up. "Say what - -"

"We are at Smithdale." The memories deluged Declan's mind yet again. He put his palms on both temples and closed his eyes, and several years of memories flashed through in a couple of minutes. "You alright Declan?"

"Just having flashbacks and wondering why you drove here..."

"I see..." Holly J regretted immediately taking Declan to Smithdale. She would tell him why she really drove him here. "I need to leave the car in guest parking. Why don't you go ahead and take a look around, see if you want to talk to anybody?"

"I suppose you have a point. Alright I'll get lost." Declan could see that she was trying, so he bit his lip and played along. Holly J drove away, leaving Declan on familiar ground. Immediately upon stepping through the double doors, whispers were rampant, like the man that just walked in was folklore or someone famous. The chatter did not bother Declan, who just walked by everyone. No one dared to say hi to him, thinking that he'll vent angrily on them. Declan just kept walking, coming across his old dorm room. He wandered if he should go inside since it was still technically his. "Screw it," he thought, "I'm just going to go in, look around, and then quickly leave. "Things did not go as planned for Declan. Right when he came in, his mind and face got quite emotional. Still intact was his bed, his shelf of books, and the infamous beanbag chair and massage table. He went immediately to the table and placed his hand on it.

_I need you to lay stomach down so I can massage you._ Thats all Declan would permit himself to remember as he stormed out of that room, determined to find Holly J and leave. It took some time, but she was eventually found in the same spot where she was all those years ago... which wasn't' very long ago actually. "LETS GO HOME HOLLY J," growled a supravexed Declan to which Holly J rebuffed with a simple, "you don't want to talk now? I believe it was you that said that you wanted to have our talk somewhere private?"

"Uh yeah I did say that, but I didn't have my old not-graduated-from stomping grounds in mind. I was thinking maybe the ravine - -"

"What? First of all, I know about that ravine. I've never been there, but if we go there, I might catch an STD."

"True; that was yet another one of my moronic suggestions." Holly J just shook her head. She thought in her head why he does this to himself... she felt that now was the best time to talk. "As I was saying," Holly J said after a long silence, "there is no one here Declan. We can have our talk here because Smithdale is currently a ghost town due to everyone fast asleep in their rooms - -"

"At _this_ time? The sun hasn't even gone down - -"

"How about you let me finish..."

"Call me whatever you want Declan, but I had this crazy idea that you maybe wanted to, um, say a PSA to explain to everybody what happened all that time ago, but it was a waste of time because its been well-chronicled already. You probably noticed me sitting in this exact spot before huh?" Now that she mentioned it, Declan completely forgot that Holly J was on her laptop and her cellular... bs; OF COURSE HE REMEMBERED, HOW COULD HE NOT? "Since you bring that up Holly J... why were you there that day - -" Just as Declan finished asking that question, his lips were touched ever so softly as Holly J reached over and went back to stationary, blushing ever so slightly. "What was that," asked an incredulous Declan with his best ZOMG-I-CAN'T BELIEE-DAT voice. "Let me ask you this," said Holly J, "When you saw me that day here, was your love for Clare at its peak?" Declan shuttered at the thought of having to think about Clare again. "I guess... - -" Holly J went in again, stealing another kiss from Declan, who kind of fell back a bit. "What is it with you, I mean, why are you doing this to me?" Summoning her inner Alex...

"BECAUSE I AM STILL IN LOVE WITH YOU IDIOT!"

"I'm sorry, but you were a moron that time for not noticing then and right now after I tried making it so obvious. Immediately after we broke up, I regretted the way I treated you. You did not deserve to be treated the way I treated you because all you did was be a gentleman and you treated me like a lady, complete with a full plate of respect, a case of kindness, and a buffet of compliments... I fell victim to the **you don't know what you had until you lost it** group. I spent a long time looking at myself, seeing what I can do to not be a repellent to any guy. I tried dating after our breakup and quite frankly, _no one can compare to you_.

"That was quite a mouthful," as Master Chief would say... Anyways, they say that guys need to be as hard as a rock and as sharp as obsidian BUT when somebody you still have feelings for confesses to you and you **still** have feelings for that person? The tears will come, trust me. Its going to start out in your mind as you mentally put your hands over your mouth and then your eyes will start to get H2O heavy. To make the situation awkwardesque; Declan asked Holly J, if she had cotton balls so that when he kissed her, his tears would not make her glass drip. "I don't give a damn about my glass Declan, just kiss me!" She did not have to tell him twice. As a matter of fact, they BOTH cried into each others' mouths as they made out. They carried it to the room and that was that. They were back together without having to go all Sam & Rich; you know, actually saying "lets give it another shot" in an emotional tone. As soon as their lips met, they were back together. When they stopped in front of Declan's room, Holly J knibbled on his earlobe and said to him the feelings he still felt and told her when they broke up and he got up to leave...

_Nakupenda pia._


	4. Extra Chapter: That Life

Disclaimer= **I do not own Degrassi, mkay?**

A/N= **This is an extra chapter for this PmS sequel. I realize that the last chapter kind of ended things abruptly, so I added an "extra chapter" to properly conclude this story. Its going to be a short chapter.**

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... Interesting way to end the chapter, huh? It could compare to the whole "clothes came off and it was National Geographic after that," but this is different. When Declan broke up with Holly J, why did he still love her? After everything he went through, he still had a corner of his heart emotionally tatted with the initials _HJS_, as evident by the expression love Declan quietly professed in Swahili and the same thing Holly J said in return. Regardless, they indeed gave it another shot and they finally clicked. These two were miserable since they had broken up, but now their lives are finally at peace because they now have each other in their lives. Over the years since they got back together, both Declan and Holly J aired everything out, with both getting mad at each other et al. It was a necessary step for them to take in order for their relationship to progress, making sure that their understanding of each other was absolute. As a result of all that, 45 months since getting back together, Declan and Holly J went on a nature hike. Why is that relevant you ask? Read on:

"What a beautiful sunset Declan..." Declan remained in a pensive state. "Is something wrong honey - -"

"Holly J, there is something that I must tell you right as this sun is setting." Declan got the piece of paper out of his pocket and immediate began reading it:

_My dearest Holly Jeanette Sinclair:_

_ When I first met you, I saw a sparkles in your eyes that meant determination and success. Even though we have been through many good times, there have been some bad times which I may have regrets on, but I feel that if we move on with our lives, we can be a very happy couple for now and for the future. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I will make sure that all of the troubles we have and may experience will not affect our relationship. I want to travel all around the world with you. Life is too short and you are the one that I want to fulfill everything with. I'm joyful and happy when I'm with you. All of the time that I've spent with you has made my life worth living. With you by my side, I'm very happy and able to live my life to the fullest. I love you so much and I just want to know..._

"Thats it?" Holly J struggled to hold back the tears. Declan told her that she had to read the next part, so Holly J got the paper and read the next sentence, which was the exact same sentence as the previous one. "What do you want to know - -" Holly J asked Declan, who was down on one knee.

"_Holly J Sinclair, will you marry me?"_

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Some years passed and Declan is riding his bike to the corner fast food joint. It was quite a brisk ride for him, who did not allow his belly to acquire "pregnant man" status. Even though he had just one big roll, it took a bit out of him because he had set his bike gears to the highest number and as any biker would tell you, your legs will be in for one hell of a workout. Declan did his best to haul ass on the slow-moving bike to the local fast food joint to grab some dinner for himself, his lovely wife Holly J and their son, Ronald Michael Sinclair-Coyne. "Hey man, I thought you had no money; you just bought food!"

"All we want - -"

"Let me tell you something kids," Declan told the young teens in a stern but non-menacing voice, "When you are on a budget, you have to be selfish sometimes, meaning you cannot be charitable. When money is tight, you don't drive your car; you drive your bike. When you have a beautiful wife who is 6 months pregnant with a daughter on the way and a 3 year old son who are both hungry and you are not able to fill the 'fridge, you get fast food like I did." Declan showed the giant drink, fries, and three burritos he bought to the teens and then rode off, determined to continue to be the husband and father he vowed to be.

**- FIN -**


End file.
